Noel

 

 

She stood there all alone in spite of the crowd that was about her. She didn’t even know why she bothered to make an appearance. The office Christmas party was a waste of her time, not that she had anything of urgency to tend to. Why anyone would have an office Christmas party on Christmas Eve was the question almost everyone was asking. It was not long before everyone headed for the door. It may have been the quickest Yuletide celebration on record. She was just glad it was over. She really couldn’t stand all that noise. Her exit was quiet, silent to a tee. She escaped back into the world that she had left earlier that morning. Down into the parking garage she moved, counting floors as she headed towards her freedom. When she got to her car, she opened the door and sank down into the luxury the dealer had promised. She paused there and she began cry.
            It had only been 3 months since the death of her husband. The cancer came quickly, and he was gone in a flash. She could barely breathe most days let alone get the fortitude to go to work and live her life. She just wanted to do it herself. The grief was still overbearing, and she had little need for anything but to be left alone. It was something she was getting used to. With no immediate family and no close friends, she was insulated from any further complications that might have come along the way. She sat in that car, and she fretted. This world did not seem worth it to her anymore. She had always been a loner, and her husband was the only person who had ever gotten close to her. She missed him so. She placed her head on the steering wheel, and she said goodbye over and over again. When she raised her head to wipe her tears, she noticed that snow had softly started to fall, visible through ventilation gaps in the cement parking garage.
            The longer it snowed the heavier it snowed. She struggled against it for most of the trip back home. She was a careful driver, so a buildup of faster travelers were lined 6 cars behind her. She didn’t hesitate to pull over and let them all pass. There was no rage, no fury, just the constant concern that something might go wrong. Something always went wrong. Yes, she had a good job and money to spare but life had been nothing but nothing at all. When she got married it looked like something finally went her way. In a year, he was gone. Providence met her in a hospital ward at 3:04 AM. It was a Tuesday. She felt the quicksand almost immediately. He sits on the mantle, ashes to ashes not just dust. Moving him around the home really brought no solace and made for little comfort. It was a constant reminder just like almost everything in the house. It took some time traversing the snow and ice. With her heater on high and a determined burst, she journeyed into the storm and danced with the night.
 
            About a kilometer from home the snow became a nightmare. She moved forward, slowly, almost at a crawl. She was thrilled at the distraction. Anything that made her feel alive always made her feel alive. The most she could manage to see was the occasional Christmas light burning in a fog of ice and snow. At one point, a dense whiteout forced her to pull over to the side of the road. She sat watching all that snow falling as her tears did too. Although she was not that far from home, she didn’t want to take any chances. Even if she had to get out and walk, she needed to be home. She needed to have him close. The snow did not melt on contact, and the wipers constantly knocked it away, a slushy mess. Like all monsters, eventually they just go away. The lessening sky gave way to soft light flakes and a heavy cold. It all lasted no more than 20 minutes. Determined and encouraged she made sure the coast was clear, and she got out to clear any snow that might have lingered after the squall. She looked down the way, to past the light post. She had almost made it home. She thought she was seeing things.
        She saw something in the middle of the road, but she wasn’t sure what it was at first. When it moved, she knew right away. She dropped the scraper/brush combo that he once had given her, and it slowly fell to the ground. She started across the street. The cold was heavy, you could feel it, almost touch it. While any actual snowfall had greatly dissipated, a fresh blanket covered roads and driveways and every tree in plain sight. With the snowstorm limiting traffic there were no tire marks, no piles of white in the middle of the road. There was only the lump. She thought she might be crazy until it moved again. She approached with caution, certain of what it was before she made her initial contact. It wasn’t a chunk of ice or something that might have fallen off a car. There, just like a proverbial skunk, sat the sweetest little girl you ever did see. Obviously, a mixed breed, it was more puppy than mature. She was shaking clear as day. Dead set, like a pylon, her abandon came with ice cubes. The whiteout may just have saved her from oncoming traffic. She was safe now.
            Without a second thought, she picked up the puppy and hurried back to her car. She swept down with one motion and, cupping it underneath the belly she pulled it up to herself. She shook the thing. The car was still warm, but the dog was not. In good fashion she took off her coat, put the thing on the front passenger’s seat and layered the mutt tight in the heavy arctic wrap. She didn’t even consider the snowy way before her. She engaged the car, blasted the heat and headed off for home. She was driven. It was a slippery slope going up the lane then into her driveway. The heavy snow caused much sliding, but she reached the top. The garage door opened with one touch of a button. The door closed behind them and for a moment darkness enveloped the two. The entire time the little creature shivered like it was still out in the cold
           
             Having looked for any owner, the first thing she did was unlock the inner door and she turned on the interior lighting. She went back to the car and softly lifted the dog in the coat, and she headed into her sanctum. It had been weeks since she entered the house without losing it. At this moment, her dead husband was the last thing on her mind. She didn’t even walk up to the mantle and touch him. The priority was getting the dog warm. She unwrapped it and laid it on a blanket in front of a space heater. She lit a fire. She then took her hairdryer and began heating up the tiny morsel. Slowly but surely the pooch started to come to life. She laid down on the floor beside her and as the heater heated, she petted and cared for the beast. It was the closet she had been to another living being since her spouse had died. Her husband had always been prepared. The one thing she could count on was a full pantry. He made sure it was fully stocked and ready for anything. In one corner sat a dozen cans of Puritan Irish, Meatball and Turkey stew. She grabbed a few and headed towards the kitchen. She went back to check on her new friend, who was still basking in artificial warmth and a cashmere wrap. She headed back to the kitchen and secured two metal bowls, one for some water and the other for the stew. She spooned the entire can, breaking up larger pieces of meat for easier consumption. Her husband was right; it was good to keep things that you never know you might need. In that moment, she realized that she had thought about him but without it hurting.
            She presented salvation in sterling steel. The small dog took to the water than devoured the stew. Slowly, her tail began to wag, and she seemed to realize that she was safe. It wasn’t long before a warm bath soothed the soul. The puppy savored the blow dryer again, almost playfully facing the hot air. She was so pretty. She was so warm and fed and dry. She picked up her ward and she headed into the living room. She checked the internet then she turned on the news and they sat together on the couch. The pup cuddled her, nuzzled her and fell fast asleep well covered and on her lap. It was the news that reminded her it was Christmas Eve. With nothing seasonal anywhere in the place, she sat with that dog, and she drifted. After three months of sadness, she now went to a different place. She didn’t think about the cancer. She didn’t even feel the numb. In a sense, she found Christmas, and it was snoring right there in front of her. In a daze, she discovered some peace. They woke up Christmas morning together, and boy did that dog  have to pee.
With no vet available until Boxing day, there was no way to determine if the dog had a chip. She felt around for one just in case. The two spent the holiday getting to know each other. She felt like it was fate that had brought them to this place. She felt guilty at first, not recognizing, not thinking about him. Those moments were brief, and they all found a place. Trips to the backyard, cuddle sessions and playing in the snow, became more than some beguilement. She spent the day looking for any owner, any street sign, any sign at all. It was Christmas night when she decided she would keep the precious thing as her own. There was a chance that someone might be looking for it but the next day there was no chip to determine if someone lost her. With a clean bill of health, she took her home from the vet and she started to live life all over again. She had doubted when she got married, sure that something was going to go wrong. She did not feel the same towards her newfound friend, The dog didn’t make the grief any less, but it sure made it less lonely. She was a distraction, but the very best kind.
 
At the end of the day, she stood before him. She touched the urn like she always did. She was overcome. She was overjoyed. She sat down softly onto the couch, and the puppy found its place to lay. She turned on a YouTube channel and the room was soon filled with music and a CGI Christmas tree spinning round and round. There was a warm glow to the place, and the heavy sadness of the last few months found a glimmer of hope. She noticed the urn on the mantle. She glimpsed over to his picture sitting in the corner. She continued to pet her soft friend. It was here that she decided what her name would be. In light of when she found her, she called her Noel.